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MEET THE EXPERTS · No. 4 of 10
The author who listened to women when medicine was still dismissing them.
Who is John Gray?
John Gray is a relationship author and speaker, best known for Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992), one of the best-selling relationship books of all time. For more than three decades he has taught men and women how to understand each other, communicate and stay connected under stress.
What he saw first
John Gray’s greatest credential is that he listened to women at a time when the medical system was still dismissing them. He spent years watching how men and women actually behave under stress, and he saw patterns long before formal science caught up.
Over time he connected those patterns to body chemistry: how stress, connection and daily habits affect hormones such as oxytocin, testosterone and cortisol. His point was simple: what you do all day helps decide what hormones your body makes. He also wrote about natural approaches to focus and brain health years before those conversations went mainstream.
What the science shows now
The science has been catching up to what Gray observed. Researchers now link social connection and feeling supported to oxytocin, and long-term stress to cortisol, which can throw other hormones off balance. In 2016, the National Institutes of Health began requiring the research it funds to consider sex as a biological variable, because men and women do not always respond the same way.
WHY IT MATTERS TO YOU
Gray’s work gives couples a practical tool: when your partner is stressed, ask what helps them recover instead of assuming they need what you need. Equal does not mean the same. It means of equal importance.
Follow his work
Website: marsvenus.com
Watch: Mars Brain, Venus Brain (TEDxBend 2013)
Books: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992), Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice (2010) and Staying Focused in a Hyper World (2014).
Sources
Gray J. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. HarperCollins (1992).
Gray J. Mars Brain, Venus Brain. TEDxBend (2013). www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuM7ZS7nodk
NIH Office of Research on Women’s Health. NIH Policy on Sex as a Biological Variable. orwh.od.nih.gov/sex-gender/nih-policy-sex-biological-variable
John Gray is not affiliated with The Broadside. We feature his work because it helps bring new science to everyday people.
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